As I put together my scrapbooking this week of endless lovely cards and stories of my journey from last year, it takes me back to intensely feeling what it was like – a sensation that is not all good.
As a doctor, I am analyzing every twinge, knowing too much and trying to push those thoughts away. It was recently that I wrote down that Trust is the opposite of Fear. If I could take every time that I worry and convert that into trusting my team, my anxiety drops significantly. I am not afraid to call at a persistent complaint and saying these words in my head help me to move the anxiety out of my head and to share with someone else’s decision – it feels so much better. I trust in a lot of people now – my doctors, my friends, a spirit of faith, my family, and myself. I don’t say that it will all be ok but that they will be there for me, making decisions in my best interest and always trusting that is the best I could ever ask for. Cleaning my mind out of these thoughts unloads decisions allowing me to move on and love living…being sensible, proactive but controlling fear.

Trust

Trust is my peace, handing over my fear
The way I can live and keep my mind clear
When worries or tests enter my brain
It’s trust in my team that grounds me again
As I give to my patients, I reflect on my care
What I have received, I heart-feltly share
Knowledge is painful, anxiety too
So trusting their judgement is what I must do
Hand over my worries, it’s where my job ends
Trust in my team – good colleagues and friends.