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Posted on Monday, October 4th, 2010
Most of my friends really came through for me, in fact I think some friendships have become even stronger as a result of this. I also have made some new friends after entering the “cancer world” that I would not have made otherwise.
I have amazing friends and family. They have all rallied around me and offered their support, including tangible offers of help if I need it. My husband is hovering over me like a mother hen. I don’t know how many times I’ve told him “I can do it.” [I'm also recovering from a bad ankle break Feb.24.] We’ve got a ways to go yet, but I feel confident that he and my family and friends will be right there with me.
I have been overwhelmed by the support I’ve received from friends and family, and complete strangers. The care I received at the Tom Baker and Holy Cross has been outstanding and I am so very grateful for everyone’s compassion and love. As a stage IV metastatic breast cancer patient, I do find it hard to deal with the fact that my odds of survival are so low, however, my family has more difficulty accepting that reality, which is hard for me. Being afraid of death and the pain I will experience in my final days is horrible, but having those I depend on deny my fears makes it all the more trying.
With my husband we are so much closer. I thought we were close and loving before..but now – this is a positive to come out of my diagnosis with bc.
Friends… I have discovered my ‘true’ friends. Some who chose not to call that is their choice. I did try to contact a few who I was suprised did not call – but they were so negative I decided that I needed to surround myself with positive friends only. My true friends have stood by my side, offered support and help to both myself and husband.
Friends did not know what to say. Old friends were shocked by the news of a cancer diagnosis and chose not to call. Eventually when I called my old friends they started to feel comfortable with me and took me out on several lunches. this was the time I needed others around me. Now, 5 months after, I seem to be making new friends, that did not know me before the diagnosis. One old friend seems angry at me. I can understand this emotion, since cancer is a rollar coaster of emotions!!
My husband has recently been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia, M4. We had to post in Facebook because we were in need of O- blood type which is very rare here in our area (Philippines). The multitude of people showed their support, my phones kept on ringing non-stop, people we barely know, strangers who would like to help called. The Red Cross also gave their support. A group of friends formed a Facebook group called Make the Ninja Happy, they plan things to help boost my husband’s positive outlook. It was amazing! Right now, our Ninja Soldiers would give us movies, quotes, food, calls of encouragement, etc. It has opened our eyes to the many blessings he has given us.
I always thought I was a strong independent person, loving life and radiating energy. When cancer hit, I could not believe the response… all those people whose lives I touched suddenly showed me how important I was to them by showing their unconditional love and kindness. I was so helpless and grateful and never would I have known such deep sincerity. I am so thankful for all these beautiful people in my life and will never take it for granted. It was like a crowd cheering me through the race, giving me energy and fighting spirit to finish when exhausted. I could not have done it without them – every card form patients, support from colleagues, emails from friends, the coffee on the doorstep, the meals, long talks and rides….it has changed me and I have changed them. Words are not big enough for my thanks….
MY FAMILY DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY DIAGNOSIS AT
ALL EVEN THOUGH I HAD SUCCESSFUL SURGERY REQUIRING NO ADDITIONAL TREATMENTS
FOR COLON CANCER. SO I HAVE HAD NO ONE TO REALLY DISCUSS THIS WITH, EVERY LITTLE
TWINGE I THINK,IS THIS CANCER AGAIN,I WAS ONLY DIAGNOSED AND HAS SURGERY THIS
After I was diagnosed, my friends became a huge source of support as my treatment progressed. That saying ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ . . . well, I was in need and they provided support, more so than I could have expected. When hard times hit, you’ll really learn who is and who isn’t your friend. Lucky for me, I have surrounded myself with exceptional people. Honestly, I’ll never be able to thank them enough. (and with all my family in another country, the value of friendship took on a whole new meaning. It’s one thing to be ‘friendly’ it’s another to have people bring you food, drive you places, and visit in the hospital)
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