TJ and I truly enjoyed our mornings. We liked sitting on the patio in the morning, drinking coffee and chatting about our plans for the day. We had been together for over 15 years and drinking coffee together in the morning had always been a ritual for us. There was a point when TJ was on steroids and going through radiation when he had a constant bloating feeling and severe heartburn. It was at this point in his treatment that he quit drinking coffee. I hated it! It disturbed me that “Cancer” had the ability to take away even such a small joy from us and it didn’t seem fair. Fortunately this, like most of the other side effects of treatment, passed and TJ got back to drinking coffee with me in the morning. Because we were both morning people we were sometimes on the patio before daylight but it was wonderful to look forward to that time each day.

Our lives were turned upside down with his cancer diagnosis. While it was devastating, I think both of us learned so much and even with the terrible side effects sometimes we were able to laugh. For us, humor played a big part in coping with everything that was happening. I really think I have TJ to thank for that but nonetheless we were able to have a good time together in the face of adversity. There were many times that he would say something so off the wall that we both would absolutely crack up and as TJ put it, “have a good belly laugh”. Chemo brain was the culprit in many of these moments. One day TJ said to me, “I really don’t think any other couple has as much fun together as we do”. Thinking back on that statement it was a pretty incredible thing to say about a 15+ year relationship.

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh ~ Repplier 

I promised TJ when he was diagnosed that I would stand by him and fight. When his Mother became so ill he knew I was here for him as he struggled with her illness also. Our relationship took a dramatic change for the better after his diagnosis and for that I am very grateful. I just hate that it took a cancer diagnosis for us to see things in each other that were there all along.

We are not here to see through each other . . . but to see each other through