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New from Nova Scotia

Kemptown

I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Dec 23/14.  I had a lumpectomy done in Jan…chemo for 12 wks starting in May and then 20 sessions of radiation in August. I have an appt next week with my oncologist to see where we are at. At the time of my lumpectomy I also had five lymph nodes removed and they came back clear so that was good news.
I have a very supportive group of family and friends around me that has made this experience less frightening.  But having said that….I have all these feelings inside that I haven’t been able to let loose for fear of seeming ungrateful or whatever…they think that because I had the operation…the chemo and the radiation that that will be it. Everything can go back to being normal….but I don’t know what that is anymore! I know there are others like me…thankful for everything we have but scared to think of what could have been or what still may come. I have kept up a very positive outlook through all this ....welcomed questions and tried my best to keep everyone from worrying about me but I don’t think I’m as alright as everyone thinks. Are these feelings normal?

Posted 2015 09 18 - 10:15
clawson

First of all, welcome to the Facing Cancer community - you’ve definitely found a supportive group who can understand a great deal of what you’re going through. In my experience, going through the actual cancer treatments was the easy part, mentally at least, because there was a very clear path and to-do list. I also was fortunate enough to have an incredibly supportive circle of friends & family around me and I was constantly surrounded by encouragement, meals dropped-off, emails, phone calls, etc. But once you get to the “all-clear” end date, everyone kind of expects you to high-five and then move on because you’re “done” with all the cancer stuff. For me, that was when the tough part actually began because there was no clear cut path on how to feel or what to do next. Everyone went back to their own lives - as they should - and I was left to my own devices to try and navigate the “new normal”. All the fears, the worries and the “what next"s ate away at me and I didn’t really feel comfortable discussing these things with my support network because I felt like they couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just put it behind me and move on. I was a survivor, right? So I should just be happy and move on. Easier said than done!

Everyone’s journey & experiences are extremely personal and unique to that individual but just know that what you’re feeling is incredibly normal and there is an entire community here to listen and support you!

Posted 2015 09 18 - 13:16
DianaS

Hi Kemptown and welcome to FacingCancer.ca.  Rest assured you are definitely not alone in what you’re feeling. We included a article on this very topic in our annual magazine—featuring the lovely Christy, who replied to you above. You can check it out here: http://www.facingcancer.ca/learning/detail/life-goes-on/

I think you’ll find many of what our ladies say in the article is in line with what you’re going through.

xx
C.

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