Author Archives: sherry

About sherry

As a long-term ovarian cancer survivor, I am thrilled that cancer that once threatened my life is gone from my body. Even now, two decades after my diagnosis, I am reminded daily of the impact of cancer on my life. I know without a doubt, that because of the positive support I received, my spirit rallied to see me through the most challenging of times. As the Executive Director of theCCTFA Foundation, I couldn’t be more proud of the opportunity to support women with cancer through Look Good Feel Better and Facing Cancer Together.

A Dose of Confidence

4 Mar

I was recently reading about the best advice Martha Stewart claims to have ever received. She said it came from her father when she was about 12 years old and, as she put it, still willing to listen.  Basically, he instilled in Martha the belief that if she was able to set her mind to it, she could do anything.  Clearly, Martha’s father’s words provided the foundation of her “can-do” attitude, which has lead to a lifetime of milestone accomplishments. When I read about Martha Stewart’s confidence boosting session from her dad, it reminded me how a healthy dose of confidence can inspire all of us on the bluest of days.   And last evening, as I accompanied a new friend to a Look Good Feel Better workshop, I got to witness confidence in action.

What a delight the workshop was for the both of us!  Held at the newly renovated Wellspring location in Oakville, the two-hour workshop was a welcomed experience for all on what was an otherwise dreary winter night.  When we arrived, the volunteers were hustling about, cleaning and prepping the room for the workshop participants. Their pretty aprons bore a lovely heart-shaped pin along with their name badge, and the room was a flurry of the loveliest shade of pink (Look Good Feel Better pink to be exact!) as the products in the workshop kits – from cleansers and moisturizers to glosses and lipstick – were unpacked and displayed with expertise.  The workshop participants looked on in anticipation – they seemed to be as curious as the volunteers were busy – and it was fun quietly watching all of activity. 

But things really kicked up a notch when the workshop leader, Susan, introduced the volunteers and officially welcomed the ladies to the workshop.  For the next hour she guided all through Look Good Feel Better’s Signature Steps.  It wasn’t long before everyone was immersed in learning tips and expert techniques, all while having fun and meeting new friends.  One of the first things the participants learned was the importance of practising good cosmetic hygiene, especially while in active treatment.  It was fun watching as the volunteers worked alongside the ladies, teaching them how to use foundation and concealer to even out their skin tone, and how a light dusting of blush could give a healthy-looking glow to their complexion.  The ladies really perked up and took note as they learned the simple technique of defining their eyebrows and how to create the illusion of thicker lashes. 

When the first hour was over, our expert hair alternatives volunteer, Heather, took over and asked the ladies if they had any special questions or needs as it related to thinning hair.  One by one, the ladies shared their particular questions and Heather shared her expertise on what they could expect about hair loss, hair alternatives and wigs.  Heather invited my friend, Fehmi, to be her hair alternatives model, and she looked radiant in each of the styles and wigs Heather showed.  How quickly the workshop’s two hours passed when there was so much to learn and try. 

I applaud all the dedicated volunteers who shared their expertise and worked their magic, instilling a renewed sense of self confidence—well done ladies! 

If you would like to learn more about Look Good Feel Better, or find a free workshop near you, visit www.lookgoodfeelbetter.ca

Posted in Look Good Feel Better, Self care, Support | Leave a comment

Mining Small Gems of Joy

31 Jan

This past week I was blessed to have had the opportunity to meet a lovely woman who was recently diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer—carcinoma of the heart. As it is often when I meet someone diagnosed with cancer, the context and circumstances under which we meet are very different than they would be were we not meeting as “survivors”. We were connected by my dear friend and fellow cancer survivor JoAnne Baresi. Their daughters go to university together and as the girls have successfully formed their own support network, JoAnne though that her friend would benefit from meeting someone else who was told, “There’s nothing else we can do”.  From what I understand, this type of cancer is so rare that she may be the first woman diagnosed with this condition. So, we set a date to meet at a coffee shop and to our mutual delight it wasn’t long before we were chatting up a storm and sharing cancer survival techniques.

When asked how I navigated my cancer journey, my immediate reply was the need to first and foremost seek out the best course of medical care and treatment.  Once that’s underway, there are so many other things that we can do to soothe our frayed nerves, calm our anxious thoughts and dispel some of the fear about what lie ahead.  Then we began talking about grief, (where does one even begin on the topic of grief?) and about ways to nurture our minds and spirits. The main thrust of our discussion revolved around ways to reframe some of the emotional challenges associated with cancer. 

We shared ideas on how to mine small gems of joy, peace and serenity from our daily activities—like taking a minute to say a word of gratitude for a bright blue sky on a sunny winter’s day, despite the bone-chilling temperatures.  We talked of the power of our belief system and how it can help guide us in making decisions that just “feel good in the gut”.  We also engaged in a hearty discussion about all the reasons why it’s absolutely OK to have a good cry when you need one, and how difficult it can be to explain it to well-intended family members who are just trying to comfort us when all we really want to do is weep away some of our fears, and hopefully some of our grief, too.

Each one of us navigates cancer in our own unique way and there is no right or wrong approach to “fixing” anything. But when we focus on putting things in perspective and seek creative ways to reframe a compromising situation, we can usually find a sense of comfort—and often joy—when we discover new ways to resolve issues.  Sometimes just finding a moment of calm in an upside-down world can bring a sense of serenity.  That’s where tools like relaxation and visualization techniques can help soothe our anxious minds, and when some quiet meditation or “just-for-me” time can be therapeutic by helping to bring new insight and constructive ways to focus positive energy on our good intentions.

“Hanging in there,” for many of us, can mean simply living one precious day at a time and there are several ways we can do that in this new and unfamiliar space.  Here are a few of my favourites that I go back to again and again:

-          Celebrate everyday accomplishments: I find that’s a good way to recognize your well-meaning efforts as you work to nurture your body back to health and wellbeing.

-          Recognize and appreciate your intentions: For example, if you believe in the nutritional benefits of juicing, I would suggest, as Dr. Candice Pert would, that the intention with which you drink the freshly prepared nectar has every bit as much benefit to your body as the juice itself (Candice’s book Molecules of Emotion is one of my faves). 

-          Write it down: I truly believe in the benefits of journaling. Putting your thoughts, fears and dreams on paper can provide a host of constructive advantages and is an excellent self-care approach that anyone can take.  Barbara Burke is a writer, multimedia artist and an educator I’d met a number of years ago. She recently sent me a gem of a resource package she created called I Am Divine. The package includes three key elements, one being a journal titled A Year of Living Your Divinity.  Each page of the journal includes a quote or a question to help you get started, which is typically the most difficult part of journaling. As you thumb through the gorgeous pages, you will notice the 12 beautiful watercolour mandalas Barbara has created to inspire you and ignite your spirit. Barbara encourages you to begin each month by looking at the mandala that represents the month and simply letting the image talk to you—what feeling does it evoke?  I adore this beautiful journal.  There is just the perfect blend of imagery, instruction and space to let your thoughts and feelings flow.  And the best part is that you can start at any point in the year, so the time is always right to check this journal out. 

-          Embrace Meditation and Visualization: One of my favourite articles in the journal is titled “Creating a Daily Practice” (pg 37).  Whether you’ve been newly diagnosed with illness or chronic disease, or simply want to go on a journey of self-awareness, this one-pager is worth its weight in gold as it shares some best practices for creating a space in your home where you can connect with your “spiritual self”.  The second element of the I Am Divine tools is a set of I Am Divine cards: 52 beautifully illustrated cards that use healing colours and images created by Barbara to visually represent each card’s divine affirmation.  And finally, the third tool is a book that provides a reading to accompany each of the cards.  Every card will encourage you to reflect on its words and to then journal any thoughts you may have that come to mind.  Like the journal, these cards are adorned with beautiful colours and images that will make you feel like you’re having a lovely dream.  Each card has its own meditation—an absolutely wonderful way to put a healthy daily dose of “positive” into each and every new day.  

I might note that all artwork and text has been lovingly created by Barbara Burke herself, who is currently a facilitator of personal-growth retreats for the Hoffman Institute of Canada http://www.hoffmaninstitute.ca/ To find out more about Barbara and how you can order your own set of “I Am Divine” tools, visit http://www.iamdivine.com/

I would love to know some of your techniques for getting through the grey days—and also for celebrating the good ones! Please share your ideas in the comments section below.

Posted in Self care, Support | 2 Comments

Finding our Inner Path to Healing

4 Dec

The following is the foreword for a book called The Inner Path to Healing: Exploring the power of your mind and spirit in healing cancer.  It was written by Johanne Robitaille Manouvrier who, since I met her, has not only become a blogger on our French community (faceaucancer.ca), but also a dear friend to all of us here at FacingCancer.ca and Look Good Feel Better.  I was honoured when she asked me to write the foreword for the English edition of her book, which is also available in French.

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The day I met Johanne we were in Montreal at a reception to officially launch the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association Foundation’s report Lives Affected by Cancer—800 Women Speak.  And from the moment I met her, I was captivated by her effervescent and engaging demeanour knowing instinctively that behind those dancing eyes and exuberant smile there was a dynamic and compassionate story of survival and joyful outlook on life. 

But it wasn’t until I read The Inner Path to Healing that I could begin to comprehend what Johanne meant when she told me that cancer had been the spring-cleaning of her life.  In essence, it was the metaphor that literally saved her life, and the catalyst for transformational life change.

Sharing her emotional rollercoaster life, from free spirit and having it all, to realist and having a hunch (she knew there had to be more to life than the next sexy society party) Johanne takes her readers on the journey of a life time filled with love and loss.  With articulate compassion, Johanne bares her soul to her readers and shares her own path to healing as she moves beyond “material girl” to “enlightened woman” with a newfound passion to help others navigate their own path to inner healing.

In her words Johanne’s explanation and perspective on healing and moving life forward after disease resonated with my own experience in both a powerful and empowering way.  Her book and belief is a testament to the proven science between western medicine and eastern alternative healing techniques that culminate in a harmonious mind-body relationship.

This approach engaged me as a reader throughout the book and I believe this book can have a positive influence on others confronted with the challenges of cancer, and as means to find hope and inspiration. This inspiring book reads like an eloquent piece of music and is as soothing to the heart as it is to the spirit.

As you embark on your personal journey of self discovery and awareness in The Inner Path to Healing, here’s to your belief system and all things possible….Bon voyage!  

Sherry L. Abbott, Executive Director, CCTFA Foundation, home of Look Good Feel Better and Facing Cancer Together

Posted in Diagnosis, Life after cancer, Support | 1 Comment

Getting Back to ‘Normal’

29 Aug

Recently, I’ve been revisiting the findings of our 2010 national survey of women with cancer, and thinking about how so much of what women told us mirrors my own experience. It got me to thinking about the things women with cancer want. Of course, there are things we all want — a self-clean bathroom, the perfect pair of jeans, great boots — but a cancer diagnosis changes everything and suddenly and somehow, for awhile anyway, many of the things we once wanted aren’t very important anymore.

In our survey, women told us that more than anything, they didn’t want the people around them to treat them differently just because they had cancer. I remember very well the overwhelming need for life to be as normal as possible (which was virtually impossible at best) during my cancer journey. For me, this meant getting up every morning and attempting to brush on touch of mood-lifting blush, pencil on some eyebrows, spritz on some of my favourite fragrance and, of course, put on my wig, just so I could start my day feeling a little more like myself. It wasn’t that I looked pretty, but somehow investing the time and effort into how I faced the day had a powerful impact on my psyche. Even while I was in the hospital — desperately thin and feeling anxious and weak as I faced more nauseating treatment — I wore my lipstick. I suppose that slash of One Perfect Coral on my lips (my late 1980s go-to shade) was my way of showing people that the ‘old’ me was still there, inside a body that was supposedly mine despite the fact that it looked so drastically different. It was an invitation (a plea?) to all of my visitors to speak to that sassy blonde who carries her lipstick everywhere she goes, even if the blonde hair was nowhere to be seen.

‘Normal’ for me also meant getting away for an evening or even just for an hour to enjoy a refreshing adult beverage with my best girlfriends. (That’s me in 1989, taking a break from treatment to attend Flare magazine’s anniversary party.) While it was often a physical struggle for me to get there, I knew that sharing a few laughs would allow me to feel as though I were still engaged in LIVING! And much like the women we surveyed, I craved those moments when I was just ‘me’ not ‘Sherry dying of cancer’. As one of our survey respondents said, “I was cancer girl. It always set me apart.”

But it’s not fair to fault our well-meaning friends and family for acting differently. Most of what we hear about cancer is about the bad news and the struggle so they may be expecting the worse. The people close to you have probably never seen you so unsure of yourself and vulnerable, to say the least. When you think about it, they’re probably feeling pretty scared and vulnerable, too, and they can’t find the right words to convey what they really feel. They might need you to tell them it’s okay to feel the way they’re feeling, but remind them that you’re still you and that hasn’t changed. Sometimes, people need the person with cancer to acknowledge the myriad of emotions that come along with the diagnosis. By putting it out there, you make it okay for them to talk to you about it the way they would talk to you about how your day was, your job or the weather. Tell people what you need to get over each hurdle, whether it’s for them to grab you some groceries on the way over or to take you out for a dirty martini at your favourite old haunt.

And one day, when you aren’t even paying attention, you’ll again start wishing for things like a pair of jeans that fit like a glove and a great new pair of boots … maybe even a new lipstick. You know, the ‘normal’ things in life.

Posted in Life after cancer, New Normal, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Women Spoke, We Listened

21 Mar

Last week my colleagues of the CCTFA Foundation and I joined many friends, supporters and members of the media for a breakfast event to mark the official launch of this website and the report that inspired it, Lives affected by cancer…800 women speak.  It marked the culmination of a lot of hard work that began, really, when we launched Look Good Feel Better in 1992.

Since that time, more than 110,000 women have benefitted from our workshop, and over the years they have told us many things about the impact of cancer on their bodies, their lives and the lives of their loved ones.  For nearly two decades, we have been listening and collecting their stories of courage and inspiration in our hearts and in our heads. We learned a lot from these women and in 2010 we broadened the mission of our Foundation to encompass the psychosocial needs of lives affected by cancer, which, quite simply, encompasses everything ‘else’ a woman many be going through with cancer, beyond the medical care of the disease.  In an effort to learn even more about the social and emotional impacts of the disease, and to look at ways that we as a Foundation could help women address some of these psychosocial needs, we conducted a Canada-wide survey to hear first-hand what they had to share about life after a cancer diagnosis. 

 
The resulting report, Lives affected by cancer…800 women speak reveals that even after cancer and its treatment, may women struggle to return to their “normal” life, or perhaps more appropriately worded, their “new normal”.  Whether our body has been changed physically as a result of cancer, we are grieving the loss of life as we once knew it, or dealing with issues of fatigue that can take months or sometimes years to go away, like it or not, many of us have a changed reality.  As one survey respondent told us, “You can’t just close the door and walk out.  You’ll never be who you were.”

For me, although I’ve been cancer free for more than 21 years, the impact of the disease is still very much a part of my daily life, and always will be.  My treatments and surgeries left me with nerve damage that requires me to wear braces on both legs to walk, and I use a cane to support me as my balance is now poor.  Mind you, my cane is studded in rhinestones!  But the lingering effect of nerve damage has meant that my quality of life is different from what it may have been. And while physically I cannot do some of the things I used to, as a result of my cancer journey I am emotionally and spiritually rich in life appreciation as a result of my new normal.

There are many women who will tell you they have emerged ‘stronger and better than ever’ after cancer, finding that the experience of looking into the face of the disease forces them to find inner strength and draw on reserves they didn’t know they possessed.  One of our Look Good Feel Better Ambassadors and models, Line, recently realized a dream of hers and opened a body clinic, Nueeva, in Brossard Quebec with her daughter. With her breast cancer gone and her treatments now complete, she finds she has more confidence that ever before. “I went through all of this, imagine what I can do today,” she says. “I found out that I am very strong.”  Our beloved blogger Dr. Alex Ginty also tries to focus on the things she has learned from cancer, using her experience to relate to the fear and anxiety her patients sometimes feel, and sharing some of the tips she used to get through the darker days of her journey. She eloquently shares some of what cancer has taught her in her poetry on her blog, Both Sides.

Of course not everyone finds the ‘silver lining’ to cancer.  And no one should ever feel pressured or guilty to move on.  Healing takes time, and the fact is, cancer does change you, even if that change may be in your outlook on life, or through the newfound inner-strength and wisdom you’ve unleashed within.  And no matter what, we know that the need for support does not end with the last treatment, or when we ring the chemo bell.  Though our hair, brows and lashes will grow back and many of us do return to work, for many women faced there are bound to be hurdles throughout the cancer journey.  For many of us, healing and well-being becomes a life-long quest – it has for me. 

I would like to personally encourage every woman who has had cancer not to be afraid to acknowledge that you still may need help, that some days are harder than others, or that you are scared that cancer may rear its ugly head again. If you need or are seeking support or resources to help you on this next stage of your journey, please visit the Resources page of our website for a list of places and programs that may be of help to you.  

I’d love to hear from you. You can send me a note on this site, or at thecancerjourney@cctfafoundation.ca

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Creative Healing

20 Feb

On quiet evenings you can often find me at my Javanese ceremonial table (one of my antique treasures collected from life in Indonesia) with a big jumble of beads spread out before me, threading, wiring and creating until many hours later I have created a one-of-a-kind piece of jewellery.  And for those who know me, you know that collecting beads has been a passion since I was a young girl.  Sometimes my creations are gifts for friends or family and sometimes they’re destined for my own jewellery box, but no matter who ends up wearing my piece, the act of creating is always cathartic for me.  From poring over beads of every size, shape and colour and selecting just the right combination, to rhythmically stringing them in a row, (or manipulating them as it is called) the process is meditative and the end result is a tangible expression of me.  Artists from the beginning of time have known the liberating, uplifting effects of creating.  Finding and acting on inspiration can connect us to places deep within ourselves that we may never discover otherwise.  It is in these innermost places that the possibility of emotional and spiritual healing lives.

Several years ago I co-authored a book with my dear friend, Dr. Marilyn Hundleby, called Cancer & the Art of Healing.  The book is a kind of print exhibition of artistic endeavours  created by people affected by cancer – patients, caregivers, health care professionals, parents and children – as part of the Arts as Medicine initiative which  has been one of Marilyn’s great passions in life.  The work featured in the book was brought to life through creative workshops, which brought together people affected by cancer with artists and psychologists, social workers or art therapists in a non-judgemental way to explore their own creativity and in doing so reflect on the extraordinary journey they are on. As participants paint, sketch, sculpt, sew or weave, they delve deep within and find resources, insights and awakenings that can bring spiritual and emotional comfort.  Each artistic endeavour is accompanied by a journalled piece of writing, which often reveals metaphors in the art and inspires the desire to embrace life and move forward. Through the writing, participants often reveal new insights about their own unique situation and are often surprised at the wisdom, hope and resourcefulness that emerge from within.

If you’re interested in exploring the benefits of self discovery and personal creativity – do it! Even if it’s something you’ve never attempted, as my dear friend Marilyn would remind us, it’s important to stress that you do not have to be an artist to benefit from the act of creating.  In fact, your ‘creation’ can take any form, whether it’s a meal you’ve prepared and the way you’ve set the table to serve it, a garden you’ve planted or a story or piece of poetry you’ve written.  In fact, the healing power of writing is often what draws people to blogging.  Cancer survivor Mary Quartarone discovered the liberating and healing power of dance shortly after she had a mastectomy as part of her treatment for breast cancer.  She now offers free dance sessions for people living with cancer to experience creative movement to invigorate mind, body and spirit. The options for expressing yourself creatively are unlimited.

As you move along on your cancer journey, I encourage you to explore your own creative side, in whatever area appeals to you.  Who knows, you may discover a hidden talent!  I would love to hear the ways you have found for releasing your feelings throughout your diagnosis, treatment and beyond. Please email me at TheCancerJourney@cctfafoundation.ca.

Posted in Life after cancer, Uncategorized | 1 Comment