Category Archives: Life after cancer

Finding our Inner Path to Healing

4 Dec

The following is the foreword for a book called The Inner Path to Healing: Exploring the power of your mind and spirit in healing cancer.  It was written by Johanne Robitaille Manouvrier who, since I met her, has not only become a blogger on our French community (faceaucancer.ca), but also a dear friend to all of us here at FacingCancer.ca and Look Good Feel Better.  I was honoured when she asked me to write the foreword for the English edition of her book, which is also available in French.

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The day I met Johanne we were in Montreal at a reception to officially launch the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association Foundation’s report Lives Affected by Cancer—800 Women Speak.  And from the moment I met her, I was captivated by her effervescent and engaging demeanour knowing instinctively that behind those dancing eyes and exuberant smile there was a dynamic and compassionate story of survival and joyful outlook on life. 

But it wasn’t until I read The Inner Path to Healing that I could begin to comprehend what Johanne meant when she told me that cancer had been the spring-cleaning of her life.  In essence, it was the metaphor that literally saved her life, and the catalyst for transformational life change.

Sharing her emotional rollercoaster life, from free spirit and having it all, to realist and having a hunch (she knew there had to be more to life than the next sexy society party) Johanne takes her readers on the journey of a life time filled with love and loss.  With articulate compassion, Johanne bares her soul to her readers and shares her own path to healing as she moves beyond “material girl” to “enlightened woman” with a newfound passion to help others navigate their own path to inner healing.

In her words Johanne’s explanation and perspective on healing and moving life forward after disease resonated with my own experience in both a powerful and empowering way.  Her book and belief is a testament to the proven science between western medicine and eastern alternative healing techniques that culminate in a harmonious mind-body relationship.

This approach engaged me as a reader throughout the book and I believe this book can have a positive influence on others confronted with the challenges of cancer, and as means to find hope and inspiration. This inspiring book reads like an eloquent piece of music and is as soothing to the heart as it is to the spirit.

As you embark on your personal journey of self discovery and awareness in The Inner Path to Healing, here’s to your belief system and all things possible….Bon voyage!  

Sherry L. Abbott, Executive Director, CCTFA Foundation, home of Look Good Feel Better and Facing Cancer Together

Posted in Diagnosis, Life after cancer, Support | 1 Comment

How far we’ve come. How far we’ll go.

19 Jul

I have just spent a wonderful morning speaking with some members of the media about the 20-year anniversary of the Look Good Feel Better program.  As women, we all love to read our fashion, beauty and lifestyle magazines, and since Look Good Feel Better began in 1992, our media partners have played a crucial role in helping to spread the word about our free programs to Canadian women.  As I looked around the table this morning at the magazine writers and editors who joined us, I saw some faces who have been with us since the program’s beginning, as well as some new faces. In both instances, it’s a sincere pleasure to let people know about the benefits of our Look Good Feel Better program and our facingcancer.ca community. 

We were especially thrilled to welcome our blogger friend, Katie Evans (The Bald & the Beautiful) who shared how the support she found at both the Look Good Feel Better workshop and here, at facingcancer.ca have coloured her cancer experience.  One of the things that resonated with me about what Katie said was that now that she’s out of treatment and back to work, people around her consider cancer to be “over” or “behind her”.  However, for those of us who have been diagnosed, we know that the period after treatment can be just the beginning of the cancer journey, as we adapt to our “new normal”. 

As we look back over the past 20 years of Look Good Feel Better, we also look forward, as we work to find ways to help women face the persistent challenges that follow us long after the diagnosis is given or the tumours have been removed from our bodies. For me, those challenges include wearing leg braces and using a cane to help me walk as a result of the intense treatments I received, as well as the fear of recurrence (that we all know so well) and grieving the life that might have been had cancer not robbed me of so many choices and chances.  That’s not to say there’s not a wonderful existence after cancer, it may just be that “after cancer” doesn’t exist. Rather, once we hear that diagnosis, our reality is altered and we are forced to move forward on a different path that is inextricably shaped by cancer. The important thing is, to keep moving forward with courage, hope and optimism.

Posted in Diagnosis, Life after cancer, New Normal, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dopamine Addicts

7 May

In March I had an opportunity to gather with a group of dynamic, enthusiastic, passionate and determined women, all who have faced the extraordinary challenges that come with cancer and its treatment.  Although we had no formal agenda, my goal for us coming together was to determine if there was benefit to meeting several times a year to connect and talk about the many issues, hurdles and yes, opportunities, that become part of our lives on the cancer journey.

One by one, as the women took their seats around the table, enthusiasm and positive energy flowed.  There were nine of us in attendance and we were a diverse group of women.  Some, like me, were long-term survivors.  Several others had recently finished treatment while two of the women in our group are facing the challenges of familial breast and ovarian cancer.  Interestingly, both of these women are mothers to young daughters, which clearly raises concern for their own futures. 

The constant flow and exchange of Information, suggestions, comments and ideas being put on the table was both electric and infectious.  Theme upon theme, we discussed things like medical and insurance coverage, self image as well as what we all agreed as having profound benefits for all — exercise and being positive.   

In regard to staying positive, beyond sharing a host of resources and places to find new inspiration, we talked about the physical benefits that come with things that make us feel good – endorphins for one.  Just exactly where do endorphins come from? They come from laughing, telling inspirational stories, exercise, just about anything at all that has an uplifting effect. 

I shared one of my strategies I use to call upon my own endorphins, which garnered a few good laughs.  It goes like this:  As ridiculous as it sounds, on those nights when I toss and turn and just can’t get the heck to sleep, more often than not I’ll just lay in the dark and smile myself silly.  And you know what, it really works!  Fellow blogger and feel-good doctor, “Both Sides” told us that endorphins naturally release anothr one of the ‘feel-good’ chemicals our body produces called dopamine. I shared with our group that I had always wanted a T-shirt that spelled out Dopamine Addict across the front, at which point we all laughed uncontrollably, clearly releasing lots of endorphins and, in turn, a hit of dopamine that did its work.  It wasn’t long before we had total agreement to call our newly formed group “Dopamine Addicts”.

The Dopamine Addicts. Top L-R: Donna, Farah, Manuela, Karen, Irma, Patricia. Bottom: Heather, Me, Alex

The Dopamine Addicts. Top L-R: Donna, Farah, Manuela, Karen, Irma, Patricia. Bottom: Heather, Me, Alex

As we neared the end of our time together, we set a goal to meet again soon and we are hoping we can have these productive and insightful gatherings in June, September and early January.

Before we parted ways, our group had established a special bond in just a few short hours.  Much like the women in our Look Good Feel Better workshops, we agreed it felt good to be with other women who could understand some of our fears and anxiety as well as future hurdles that may well present themselves somewhere down the road.  Having had the opportunity to share stories and put some context around our unique experiences gave us a renewed outlook on how it’s better together because, as we all agreed, cancer doesn’t end when treatment does.

It’s my hope that this dynamic group of women, some who preferred to be call survivors, while others felt “thrivers” more aptly described their personal situation and outlook, can come together to learn, grow and be stronger by facing cancer together.

Posted in Life after cancer, Support, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

What’s Your Word?

31 Jan

We are only weeks into the New Year but 2012 is already shaping up to be an exciting year for us.  This is the year that we will celebrate the 20th anniversary of  our foundation and the Look Good Feel Better program in Canada.  We are in the early stages of planning the 20th issue of our annual magazine, which has given us a reason to dig through our archives and revisit some of the touching, hopeful and empowering stories that we’ve had the privilege of sharing over the past two decades.

Just this week, we were beyond thrilled to hear from an amazing woman we first met when she appeared in the 1998 issue of our magazine.  Dionne Warner is nothing short of a miracle.  She is a seven-time cancer survivor, having had cancer in her breast and brain and two bouts of liver cancer before being diagnosed in 2009 with Stage 4 cancer in her lungs, bones and liver.  Dionne and her husband Graham are known at the cancer care centre where Dionne receives her treatment for dressing up in themed costumes for each of her chemo appointments, often marking their entrance with music, laughter and commotion.  We received the incredible news this week that Dionne’s cancer is in complete remission!  I have no doubt that Dionne’s indomitable spirit and resolute optimism helped propel her to this point. She’s a true personification of what it means to have hope.

We use the word ‘hope’ a lot around our office because we believe that every woman deserves to face cancer with hope, support and optimism. That’s not to discount the bad days or the seriousness of cancer, but we believe, and our report proves, that women are, overall, determined to face cancer with positivity. The women we surveyed told us they just need the supports to help lift them up when the really low lows hit.  In fact, I would have to say that ‘determined’ is the word that I use most often to describe my own cancer experience.  Despite being given just three months to live, I was determined to do everything in my power to turn my grim prognosis on its head and make medical history. I was also determined  to face each day with as much positive spirit as I could muster.  Many days, when my own supply of positive spirit was depleted, I had to borrow some from the many friends and family members who rallied around me, but together we got through the scarring surgeries, the gruelling treatments, the pain and the nausea to the point I am at today – 22 years cancer free!  How truly grateful I am.  

Despite the fact that doctors were able to remove the cancer from my body many years ago, I face the lifelong impact of cancer every day with the same determination that I did back when I was undergoing treatment.  Because my treatments and surgeries were so extreme, I am left with lifelong physical challenges that require me to wear braces on both of my legs and walk with a cane.  Every day when I strap on those prosthesis that enable me to walk, I am reminded of the ‘new normal’ cancer created for me and I am determined to face these challenges head on.

What word best describes your cancer experience?  Has your word changed over the course of your journey? Please share your word in the comments section below.  We might include your comments in the 2012 issue of our magazine, so that you can help other women facing similar challenges.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you as we face cancer together. 

Posted in Life after cancer, New Normal, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Looking Back, Moving Forward

29 Dec

I have been reading my fellow bloggers’ posts about how the holiday season can seem even more ‘magical’ after a cancer diagnosis.  I believe it’s true, that once you’ve faced some of the most challenging of days and lived to tell the tale – literally – you do become even more grateful for the good days.  Heck, even the bad days after cancer aren’t nearly as bad as the day you receive the dreaded diagnosis or the worst of days when you’re in the thick of treatment. Ironically, even as I pause at this time of year to give thanks for the many, many blessings in my life, my family remind me of the news they received on Christmas Eve 22 years ago. When they were coming in to visit me, as they passed by the nursing station, they were told to call before coming in on Christmas morning because I wasn’t expected to live through the night.

Those of you who have read my previous blog posts may already know that when I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, my prognosis was dimmer than dim: there were only a handful of cases of my type of cancer around the world and virtually no survivors.  My diagnosis came in September and I was told that I would be lucky if I saw the New Year.  But despite the grim outlook, my medical team and I vowed to do everything possible to make medical history and we did!  But it wasn’t without encountering setbacks and roadblocks along the way. 

I was horrified to have to spend that first Christmas after my diagnosis in hospital.  My father, who was still mourning the loss of my mother to cancer, brought the spirit of Christmas to my hospital room.  He also brought me a gift I was hoping for – a fancy new camera.  Over the years I have often thought about how symbolic that camera was to me.  Although I wasn’t expected to live long after receiving it, for me it represented my will to live and my desire to move my life forward.  

And just as Catherine looks back now one year after finishing her chemo treatments and marvels at how far she has come from those dark days that at the time seemed endless, I too look back and am eminently grateful for the blessings in my life, including the friends and family who helped me through those dark days and who continue to support me through thick and thin.  I know that, unfortunately, not everyone has a support network as strong as mine.  I hope that for you, the facingcancer.ca community gives you hope and inspiration so that you, too, can look back one day and marvel at how far you’ve come. 

 As I look forward to a bright new year filled with new adventure and opportunity, I’ve decided I want to make this a year of gratitude.  I look forward to being mindful for all that I am grateful for ~ family, friends, health and well-being; work at a job I love; travel and a world of possibility in each new day. God bless and Happy New Year. I look forward to staying connected throughout 2012.

Posted in Life after cancer, New Normal, Support | 2 Comments

One Year

15 Nov

It’s hard to believe that at this time last year, this community was brand new. We were just off the big “push” that inevitably comes at the end of every major project, when you inject that last bit of oomph into making sure all of the details have been considered, that anything that was broken has been fixed and anything that isn’t quite finished gets completed – and fast! The site went live in mid-October and we were proud of this new place we had created for women to gather and connect about all of those ‘other’ things that cancer brings with it. We still are!

We built facingcancer.ca because women with cancer told us that a place like this was what they needed to help support them on their cancer journey. Early in 2010 we conducted a pan-Canadian survey of 814 women with cancer – both current patients and survivors. 73% of them told us that they turned to the internet as a support tool during their cancer, but only 21% of them found it to be helpful. Having offered social and emotional support though our Look Good Feel Better program for almost 20 years, we felt compelled to somehow extend the social benefits of our free workshops to more women through online outreach. And so, the seeds of facingcancer.ca were planted.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, more than 21 years ago now, my world was quite literally turned upside down. While my medical team treated the physical me – shrinking my tumours and removing the cancer from my body – my friends and family treated my spirit. I credit them with helping me to heal emotionally from my cancer. But not everyone is so fortunate to have a strong network of supporters. So, you can imagine how great the satisfaction I and our Facing Cancer Team feel when we see all of you reaching out to each other in our forums, offering those words of encouragement and comfort that are so needed on those dark days of cancer. With facingcancer.ca, everyone whose life has been impacted by cancer can connect with someone who has been there too: patients, survivors, family members, caregivers, even medical professionals.

I love to read the posts from my fellow bloggers who so articulately put into words the myriad of emotions that those of us touched by cancer experience. It is my sincere hope that through communities such as this one and in your own daily life that you, too, have the support that is so vital in facing cancer with hope, courage and optimism. This is what drives me each and every day – the mission to ensure that no woman has to face cancer alone.

Today, the site looks quite different from how it looked a year ago. We have added our bloggers to the homepage after realizing that the blogs were one of the most popular parts of the site. We’ve also added your avatars to your posts in the forums so that you can get to know one another a little bit better while you are reaching out to each other. And we have included videos and social media widgets on the homepage to give you more ways to interact with us and share our site with others who may find it useful. Now, if I can just figure out how to use these myself…

We have more additions and enhancements planned for year two – we want to continue to grow this community and ensure that you’re finding what you need when you visit. And so I want to turn the comments section over to you: What would you like to see added to the site? What do you like best about the site? What do you like the least and are there ways to make it better?

Thanks to each and every one of you for being part of this community. I treasure our newfound relationship, and because of you I continue to learn and understand that this journey is filled with adventure. Together, we can help each other face cancer.

PS: I’m not terribly sure that there’s such a thing as a PS in the cyber world, but if there is, here’s a bit of news that left me down a shade of rose (ok, maybe a little blue). I’ve been wanting to have my eyes tested, not because I have been having any trouble with them, as I haven’t. I just thought it in my best interest to have a thorough check up, so I was surprised to learn I have cataracts in both eyes. The good doc told me they were likely a side effect of chemo. I thought, okay, I can’t walk all that well (try as I might to do it with grace) and I don’t hear very well (years ago I was told the chemo drugs that impacted the nerves in my legs would cause damage in my ears), but no one ever told me that my eyes would be subjected to long-term damage. I guess I’ll just have to follow that favorite passage of Audrey Hepburn written by Sam Levinson: For beautiful eyes, seek out the good in others.
And, dear friend, while many of us have not met, or seen each other, through our relationship on facingcancer.ca, I see a whole lot of good in what each of you are doing by sharing so much of yourselves to help those of us on this journey they call cancer.

God Bless.

Posted in Life after cancer, Support | 2 Comments

Getting Back to ‘Normal’

29 Aug

Recently, I’ve been revisiting the findings of our 2010 national survey of women with cancer, and thinking about how so much of what women told us mirrors my own experience. It got me to thinking about the things women with cancer want. Of course, there are things we all want — a self-clean bathroom, the perfect pair of jeans, great boots — but a cancer diagnosis changes everything and suddenly and somehow, for awhile anyway, many of the things we once wanted aren’t very important anymore.

In our survey, women told us that more than anything, they didn’t want the people around them to treat them differently just because they had cancer. I remember very well the overwhelming need for life to be as normal as possible (which was virtually impossible at best) during my cancer journey. For me, this meant getting up every morning and attempting to brush on touch of mood-lifting blush, pencil on some eyebrows, spritz on some of my favourite fragrance and, of course, put on my wig, just so I could start my day feeling a little more like myself. It wasn’t that I looked pretty, but somehow investing the time and effort into how I faced the day had a powerful impact on my psyche. Even while I was in the hospital — desperately thin and feeling anxious and weak as I faced more nauseating treatment — I wore my lipstick. I suppose that slash of One Perfect Coral on my lips (my late 1980s go-to shade) was my way of showing people that the ‘old’ me was still there, inside a body that was supposedly mine despite the fact that it looked so drastically different. It was an invitation (a plea?) to all of my visitors to speak to that sassy blonde who carries her lipstick everywhere she goes, even if the blonde hair was nowhere to be seen.

‘Normal’ for me also meant getting away for an evening or even just for an hour to enjoy a refreshing adult beverage with my best girlfriends. (That’s me in 1989, taking a break from treatment to attend Flare magazine’s anniversary party.) While it was often a physical struggle for me to get there, I knew that sharing a few laughs would allow me to feel as though I were still engaged in LIVING! And much like the women we surveyed, I craved those moments when I was just ‘me’ not ‘Sherry dying of cancer’. As one of our survey respondents said, “I was cancer girl. It always set me apart.”

But it’s not fair to fault our well-meaning friends and family for acting differently. Most of what we hear about cancer is about the bad news and the struggle so they may be expecting the worse. The people close to you have probably never seen you so unsure of yourself and vulnerable, to say the least. When you think about it, they’re probably feeling pretty scared and vulnerable, too, and they can’t find the right words to convey what they really feel. They might need you to tell them it’s okay to feel the way they’re feeling, but remind them that you’re still you and that hasn’t changed. Sometimes, people need the person with cancer to acknowledge the myriad of emotions that come along with the diagnosis. By putting it out there, you make it okay for them to talk to you about it the way they would talk to you about how your day was, your job or the weather. Tell people what you need to get over each hurdle, whether it’s for them to grab you some groceries on the way over or to take you out for a dirty martini at your favourite old haunt.

And one day, when you aren’t even paying attention, you’ll again start wishing for things like a pair of jeans that fit like a glove and a great new pair of boots … maybe even a new lipstick. You know, the ‘normal’ things in life.

Posted in Life after cancer, New Normal, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Creative Healing

20 Feb

On quiet evenings you can often find me at my Javanese ceremonial table (one of my antique treasures collected from life in Indonesia) with a big jumble of beads spread out before me, threading, wiring and creating until many hours later I have created a one-of-a-kind piece of jewellery.  And for those who know me, you know that collecting beads has been a passion since I was a young girl.  Sometimes my creations are gifts for friends or family and sometimes they’re destined for my own jewellery box, but no matter who ends up wearing my piece, the act of creating is always cathartic for me.  From poring over beads of every size, shape and colour and selecting just the right combination, to rhythmically stringing them in a row, (or manipulating them as it is called) the process is meditative and the end result is a tangible expression of me.  Artists from the beginning of time have known the liberating, uplifting effects of creating.  Finding and acting on inspiration can connect us to places deep within ourselves that we may never discover otherwise.  It is in these innermost places that the possibility of emotional and spiritual healing lives.

Several years ago I co-authored a book with my dear friend, Dr. Marilyn Hundleby, called Cancer & the Art of Healing.  The book is a kind of print exhibition of artistic endeavours  created by people affected by cancer – patients, caregivers, health care professionals, parents and children – as part of the Arts as Medicine initiative which  has been one of Marilyn’s great passions in life.  The work featured in the book was brought to life through creative workshops, which brought together people affected by cancer with artists and psychologists, social workers or art therapists in a non-judgemental way to explore their own creativity and in doing so reflect on the extraordinary journey they are on. As participants paint, sketch, sculpt, sew or weave, they delve deep within and find resources, insights and awakenings that can bring spiritual and emotional comfort.  Each artistic endeavour is accompanied by a journalled piece of writing, which often reveals metaphors in the art and inspires the desire to embrace life and move forward. Through the writing, participants often reveal new insights about their own unique situation and are often surprised at the wisdom, hope and resourcefulness that emerge from within.

If you’re interested in exploring the benefits of self discovery and personal creativity – do it! Even if it’s something you’ve never attempted, as my dear friend Marilyn would remind us, it’s important to stress that you do not have to be an artist to benefit from the act of creating.  In fact, your ‘creation’ can take any form, whether it’s a meal you’ve prepared and the way you’ve set the table to serve it, a garden you’ve planted or a story or piece of poetry you’ve written.  In fact, the healing power of writing is often what draws people to blogging.  Cancer survivor Mary Quartarone discovered the liberating and healing power of dance shortly after she had a mastectomy as part of her treatment for breast cancer.  She now offers free dance sessions for people living with cancer to experience creative movement to invigorate mind, body and spirit. The options for expressing yourself creatively are unlimited.

As you move along on your cancer journey, I encourage you to explore your own creative side, in whatever area appeals to you.  Who knows, you may discover a hidden talent!  I would love to hear the ways you have found for releasing your feelings throughout your diagnosis, treatment and beyond. Please email me at TheCancerJourney@cctfafoundation.ca.

Posted in Life after cancer, Uncategorized | 1 Comment