Category Archives: Support

A Dose of Confidence

4 Mar

I was recently reading about the best advice Martha Stewart claims to have ever received. She said it came from her father when she was about 12 years old and, as she put it, still willing to listen.  Basically, he instilled in Martha the belief that if she was able to set her mind to it, she could do anything.  Clearly, Martha’s father’s words provided the foundation of her “can-do” attitude, which has lead to a lifetime of milestone accomplishments. When I read about Martha Stewart’s confidence boosting session from her dad, it reminded me how a healthy dose of confidence can inspire all of us on the bluest of days.   And last evening, as I accompanied a new friend to a Look Good Feel Better workshop, I got to witness confidence in action.

What a delight the workshop was for the both of us!  Held at the newly renovated Wellspring location in Oakville, the two-hour workshop was a welcomed experience for all on what was an otherwise dreary winter night.  When we arrived, the volunteers were hustling about, cleaning and prepping the room for the workshop participants. Their pretty aprons bore a lovely heart-shaped pin along with their name badge, and the room was a flurry of the loveliest shade of pink (Look Good Feel Better pink to be exact!) as the products in the workshop kits – from cleansers and moisturizers to glosses and lipstick – were unpacked and displayed with expertise.  The workshop participants looked on in anticipation – they seemed to be as curious as the volunteers were busy – and it was fun quietly watching all of activity. 

But things really kicked up a notch when the workshop leader, Susan, introduced the volunteers and officially welcomed the ladies to the workshop.  For the next hour she guided all through Look Good Feel Better’s Signature Steps.  It wasn’t long before everyone was immersed in learning tips and expert techniques, all while having fun and meeting new friends.  One of the first things the participants learned was the importance of practising good cosmetic hygiene, especially while in active treatment.  It was fun watching as the volunteers worked alongside the ladies, teaching them how to use foundation and concealer to even out their skin tone, and how a light dusting of blush could give a healthy-looking glow to their complexion.  The ladies really perked up and took note as they learned the simple technique of defining their eyebrows and how to create the illusion of thicker lashes. 

When the first hour was over, our expert hair alternatives volunteer, Heather, took over and asked the ladies if they had any special questions or needs as it related to thinning hair.  One by one, the ladies shared their particular questions and Heather shared her expertise on what they could expect about hair loss, hair alternatives and wigs.  Heather invited my friend, Fehmi, to be her hair alternatives model, and she looked radiant in each of the styles and wigs Heather showed.  How quickly the workshop’s two hours passed when there was so much to learn and try. 

I applaud all the dedicated volunteers who shared their expertise and worked their magic, instilling a renewed sense of self confidence—well done ladies! 

If you would like to learn more about Look Good Feel Better, or find a free workshop near you, visit www.lookgoodfeelbetter.ca

Posted in Look Good Feel Better, Self care, Support | Leave a comment

Mining Small Gems of Joy

31 Jan

This past week I was blessed to have had the opportunity to meet a lovely woman who was recently diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer—carcinoma of the heart. As it is often when I meet someone diagnosed with cancer, the context and circumstances under which we meet are very different than they would be were we not meeting as “survivors”. We were connected by my dear friend and fellow cancer survivor JoAnne Baresi. Their daughters go to university together and as the girls have successfully formed their own support network, JoAnne though that her friend would benefit from meeting someone else who was told, “There’s nothing else we can do”.  From what I understand, this type of cancer is so rare that she may be the first woman diagnosed with this condition. So, we set a date to meet at a coffee shop and to our mutual delight it wasn’t long before we were chatting up a storm and sharing cancer survival techniques.

When asked how I navigated my cancer journey, my immediate reply was the need to first and foremost seek out the best course of medical care and treatment.  Once that’s underway, there are so many other things that we can do to soothe our frayed nerves, calm our anxious thoughts and dispel some of the fear about what lie ahead.  Then we began talking about grief, (where does one even begin on the topic of grief?) and about ways to nurture our minds and spirits. The main thrust of our discussion revolved around ways to reframe some of the emotional challenges associated with cancer. 

We shared ideas on how to mine small gems of joy, peace and serenity from our daily activities—like taking a minute to say a word of gratitude for a bright blue sky on a sunny winter’s day, despite the bone-chilling temperatures.  We talked of the power of our belief system and how it can help guide us in making decisions that just “feel good in the gut”.  We also engaged in a hearty discussion about all the reasons why it’s absolutely OK to have a good cry when you need one, and how difficult it can be to explain it to well-intended family members who are just trying to comfort us when all we really want to do is weep away some of our fears, and hopefully some of our grief, too.

Each one of us navigates cancer in our own unique way and there is no right or wrong approach to “fixing” anything. But when we focus on putting things in perspective and seek creative ways to reframe a compromising situation, we can usually find a sense of comfort—and often joy—when we discover new ways to resolve issues.  Sometimes just finding a moment of calm in an upside-down world can bring a sense of serenity.  That’s where tools like relaxation and visualization techniques can help soothe our anxious minds, and when some quiet meditation or “just-for-me” time can be therapeutic by helping to bring new insight and constructive ways to focus positive energy on our good intentions.

“Hanging in there,” for many of us, can mean simply living one precious day at a time and there are several ways we can do that in this new and unfamiliar space.  Here are a few of my favourites that I go back to again and again:

-          Celebrate everyday accomplishments: I find that’s a good way to recognize your well-meaning efforts as you work to nurture your body back to health and wellbeing.

-          Recognize and appreciate your intentions: For example, if you believe in the nutritional benefits of juicing, I would suggest, as Dr. Candice Pert would, that the intention with which you drink the freshly prepared nectar has every bit as much benefit to your body as the juice itself (Candice’s book Molecules of Emotion is one of my faves). 

-          Write it down: I truly believe in the benefits of journaling. Putting your thoughts, fears and dreams on paper can provide a host of constructive advantages and is an excellent self-care approach that anyone can take.  Barbara Burke is a writer, multimedia artist and an educator I’d met a number of years ago. She recently sent me a gem of a resource package she created called I Am Divine. The package includes three key elements, one being a journal titled A Year of Living Your Divinity.  Each page of the journal includes a quote or a question to help you get started, which is typically the most difficult part of journaling. As you thumb through the gorgeous pages, you will notice the 12 beautiful watercolour mandalas Barbara has created to inspire you and ignite your spirit. Barbara encourages you to begin each month by looking at the mandala that represents the month and simply letting the image talk to you—what feeling does it evoke?  I adore this beautiful journal.  There is just the perfect blend of imagery, instruction and space to let your thoughts and feelings flow.  And the best part is that you can start at any point in the year, so the time is always right to check this journal out. 

-          Embrace Meditation and Visualization: One of my favourite articles in the journal is titled “Creating a Daily Practice” (pg 37).  Whether you’ve been newly diagnosed with illness or chronic disease, or simply want to go on a journey of self-awareness, this one-pager is worth its weight in gold as it shares some best practices for creating a space in your home where you can connect with your “spiritual self”.  The second element of the I Am Divine tools is a set of I Am Divine cards: 52 beautifully illustrated cards that use healing colours and images created by Barbara to visually represent each card’s divine affirmation.  And finally, the third tool is a book that provides a reading to accompany each of the cards.  Every card will encourage you to reflect on its words and to then journal any thoughts you may have that come to mind.  Like the journal, these cards are adorned with beautiful colours and images that will make you feel like you’re having a lovely dream.  Each card has its own meditation—an absolutely wonderful way to put a healthy daily dose of “positive” into each and every new day.  

I might note that all artwork and text has been lovingly created by Barbara Burke herself, who is currently a facilitator of personal-growth retreats for the Hoffman Institute of Canada http://www.hoffmaninstitute.ca/ To find out more about Barbara and how you can order your own set of “I Am Divine” tools, visit http://www.iamdivine.com/

I would love to know some of your techniques for getting through the grey days—and also for celebrating the good ones! Please share your ideas in the comments section below.

Posted in Self care, Support | 2 Comments

Finding our Inner Path to Healing

4 Dec

The following is the foreword for a book called The Inner Path to Healing: Exploring the power of your mind and spirit in healing cancer.  It was written by Johanne Robitaille Manouvrier who, since I met her, has not only become a blogger on our French community (faceaucancer.ca), but also a dear friend to all of us here at FacingCancer.ca and Look Good Feel Better.  I was honoured when she asked me to write the foreword for the English edition of her book, which is also available in French.

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The day I met Johanne we were in Montreal at a reception to officially launch the Canadian Cosmetic, Toiletry and Fragrance Association Foundation’s report Lives Affected by Cancer—800 Women Speak.  And from the moment I met her, I was captivated by her effervescent and engaging demeanour knowing instinctively that behind those dancing eyes and exuberant smile there was a dynamic and compassionate story of survival and joyful outlook on life. 

But it wasn’t until I read The Inner Path to Healing that I could begin to comprehend what Johanne meant when she told me that cancer had been the spring-cleaning of her life.  In essence, it was the metaphor that literally saved her life, and the catalyst for transformational life change.

Sharing her emotional rollercoaster life, from free spirit and having it all, to realist and having a hunch (she knew there had to be more to life than the next sexy society party) Johanne takes her readers on the journey of a life time filled with love and loss.  With articulate compassion, Johanne bares her soul to her readers and shares her own path to healing as she moves beyond “material girl” to “enlightened woman” with a newfound passion to help others navigate their own path to inner healing.

In her words Johanne’s explanation and perspective on healing and moving life forward after disease resonated with my own experience in both a powerful and empowering way.  Her book and belief is a testament to the proven science between western medicine and eastern alternative healing techniques that culminate in a harmonious mind-body relationship.

This approach engaged me as a reader throughout the book and I believe this book can have a positive influence on others confronted with the challenges of cancer, and as means to find hope and inspiration. This inspiring book reads like an eloquent piece of music and is as soothing to the heart as it is to the spirit.

As you embark on your personal journey of self discovery and awareness in The Inner Path to Healing, here’s to your belief system and all things possible….Bon voyage!  

Sherry L. Abbott, Executive Director, CCTFA Foundation, home of Look Good Feel Better and Facing Cancer Together

Posted in Diagnosis, Life after cancer, Support | 1 Comment

Celebrating 20 Years of Empowering Women with Cancer

11 Oct

In September, we marked the 20th Anniversary of the first ever Look Good Feel Better workshop in Canada with another first: the inaugural Facing Cancer Together Award ceremony. 

It was in September 1992 that our first workshop was held at the Princess Margaret Hospital. Soon thereafter, workshops rolled out in Montreal. In that first year we saw fewer than 100 women participate in the workshop.  Today, more than 10,000 women participate annually at more than 1,500 workshops at 118 cancer care facilities and hospitals across Canada.  Since that first workshop 20 years ago, more than 130,000 women have benefited from looking and feeling more like themselves and hundreds of thousands more have benefitted from our bilingual services, including a toll-free information line, our annual magazine and our website.                                                                                                        

From learning about cosmetic hygiene because of their compromised immune systems, to skincare and sun protection, how to give skin a healthy-looking touch of colour, recreating the look of lost brows and lashes to creative hair alternatives and wigs, the women in the Look Good Feel Better workshop find their confidence is boosted, their hope nurtured and that they are not alone on their cancer journey.  We like to call our workshop experience a makeover for the spirit.

On September 27th, we gathered with many friends of Look Good Feel Better and FacingCancer.ca to recognize 20 exemplary women from across the country who have, in some way, helped to ensure Canadian women are better equipped to face cancer with determination, optimism and hope.  Each of our 20 honourees – one for each year of our program – exemplifies the very essence of Look Good Feel Better’s mission to empower women with cancer.  We were proud to recognize each of these special women with the Facing Cancer Together Award of Honour for their commitment to helping us achieve our mission of ensuring that no woman has to face cancer alone.

 To our award recipients: none of you chose cancer, but each of you chose to use your experience to make a meaningful difference for others facing cancer.  For this, we thank you.

Facing Cancer Together Award recipients

Facing Cancer Together Award of Honour Recipients

  • Alexandra Ginty MD, FacingCancer.ca Blogger
  • Beverly Thomson Co-Host, CANADA AM
  • Bif Naked Canadian Singer & Songwriter
  • Catherine Brunelle, FacingCancer.ca Blogger
  • Cynthia Mulligan Reporter & Anchor, CityNews
  • Emmy Duff, Look Good Feel Better Teen Testimonial
  • Heather Bunting, Look Good Feel Better Workshop Team Leader
  • Jennifer Blake MD, MSc, FRCSC, Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre
  • Joan Michetti 20 Year Look Good Feel Better Volunteer Educator & Team Leader
  • Johanne Robitaille Manouvrier, FacingCancer.ca Blogger
  • Leslee Thompson, President & CEO, Kingston General Hospital
  • Libby Znaimer, VP News & Host, Zoomer Media
  • Linda Kilburn, Look Good Feel Better Cover Model and Testimonial
  • Linda Lewis Editor-in-Chief, MORE Magazine
  • Lisa Ray, Canadian Actress
  • Margaret Fitch, PhD, MScN, Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre
  • Marilyn Hundleby, PhD, R. Psych, Clinical Psychologist
  • Sharon Coburn, Look Good Feel Better Testimonial

We also extend a special thank-you to Presenting Sponsor L’Oréal Canada. Thanks also, to WestJet for providing travel for out-of-town award recipients, to Movado Canada for the beautiful watches each of our recipients received and to OverCat Communications for their expert execution of the event and media outreach.

Posted in Look Good Feel Better, Support | Leave a comment

Dopamine Addicts

7 May

In March I had an opportunity to gather with a group of dynamic, enthusiastic, passionate and determined women, all who have faced the extraordinary challenges that come with cancer and its treatment.  Although we had no formal agenda, my goal for us coming together was to determine if there was benefit to meeting several times a year to connect and talk about the many issues, hurdles and yes, opportunities, that become part of our lives on the cancer journey.

One by one, as the women took their seats around the table, enthusiasm and positive energy flowed.  There were nine of us in attendance and we were a diverse group of women.  Some, like me, were long-term survivors.  Several others had recently finished treatment while two of the women in our group are facing the challenges of familial breast and ovarian cancer.  Interestingly, both of these women are mothers to young daughters, which clearly raises concern for their own futures. 

The constant flow and exchange of Information, suggestions, comments and ideas being put on the table was both electric and infectious.  Theme upon theme, we discussed things like medical and insurance coverage, self image as well as what we all agreed as having profound benefits for all — exercise and being positive.   

In regard to staying positive, beyond sharing a host of resources and places to find new inspiration, we talked about the physical benefits that come with things that make us feel good – endorphins for one.  Just exactly where do endorphins come from? They come from laughing, telling inspirational stories, exercise, just about anything at all that has an uplifting effect. 

I shared one of my strategies I use to call upon my own endorphins, which garnered a few good laughs.  It goes like this:  As ridiculous as it sounds, on those nights when I toss and turn and just can’t get the heck to sleep, more often than not I’ll just lay in the dark and smile myself silly.  And you know what, it really works!  Fellow blogger and feel-good doctor, “Both Sides” told us that endorphins naturally release anothr one of the ‘feel-good’ chemicals our body produces called dopamine. I shared with our group that I had always wanted a T-shirt that spelled out Dopamine Addict across the front, at which point we all laughed uncontrollably, clearly releasing lots of endorphins and, in turn, a hit of dopamine that did its work.  It wasn’t long before we had total agreement to call our newly formed group “Dopamine Addicts”.

The Dopamine Addicts. Top L-R: Donna, Farah, Manuela, Karen, Irma, Patricia. Bottom: Heather, Me, Alex

The Dopamine Addicts. Top L-R: Donna, Farah, Manuela, Karen, Irma, Patricia. Bottom: Heather, Me, Alex

As we neared the end of our time together, we set a goal to meet again soon and we are hoping we can have these productive and insightful gatherings in June, September and early January.

Before we parted ways, our group had established a special bond in just a few short hours.  Much like the women in our Look Good Feel Better workshops, we agreed it felt good to be with other women who could understand some of our fears and anxiety as well as future hurdles that may well present themselves somewhere down the road.  Having had the opportunity to share stories and put some context around our unique experiences gave us a renewed outlook on how it’s better together because, as we all agreed, cancer doesn’t end when treatment does.

It’s my hope that this dynamic group of women, some who preferred to be call survivors, while others felt “thrivers” more aptly described their personal situation and outlook, can come together to learn, grow and be stronger by facing cancer together.

Posted in Life after cancer, Support, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Looking Back, Moving Forward

29 Dec

I have been reading my fellow bloggers’ posts about how the holiday season can seem even more ‘magical’ after a cancer diagnosis.  I believe it’s true, that once you’ve faced some of the most challenging of days and lived to tell the tale – literally – you do become even more grateful for the good days.  Heck, even the bad days after cancer aren’t nearly as bad as the day you receive the dreaded diagnosis or the worst of days when you’re in the thick of treatment. Ironically, even as I pause at this time of year to give thanks for the many, many blessings in my life, my family remind me of the news they received on Christmas Eve 22 years ago. When they were coming in to visit me, as they passed by the nursing station, they were told to call before coming in on Christmas morning because I wasn’t expected to live through the night.

Those of you who have read my previous blog posts may already know that when I was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer, my prognosis was dimmer than dim: there were only a handful of cases of my type of cancer around the world and virtually no survivors.  My diagnosis came in September and I was told that I would be lucky if I saw the New Year.  But despite the grim outlook, my medical team and I vowed to do everything possible to make medical history and we did!  But it wasn’t without encountering setbacks and roadblocks along the way. 

I was horrified to have to spend that first Christmas after my diagnosis in hospital.  My father, who was still mourning the loss of my mother to cancer, brought the spirit of Christmas to my hospital room.  He also brought me a gift I was hoping for – a fancy new camera.  Over the years I have often thought about how symbolic that camera was to me.  Although I wasn’t expected to live long after receiving it, for me it represented my will to live and my desire to move my life forward.  

And just as Catherine looks back now one year after finishing her chemo treatments and marvels at how far she has come from those dark days that at the time seemed endless, I too look back and am eminently grateful for the blessings in my life, including the friends and family who helped me through those dark days and who continue to support me through thick and thin.  I know that, unfortunately, not everyone has a support network as strong as mine.  I hope that for you, the facingcancer.ca community gives you hope and inspiration so that you, too, can look back one day and marvel at how far you’ve come. 

 As I look forward to a bright new year filled with new adventure and opportunity, I’ve decided I want to make this a year of gratitude.  I look forward to being mindful for all that I am grateful for ~ family, friends, health and well-being; work at a job I love; travel and a world of possibility in each new day. God bless and Happy New Year. I look forward to staying connected throughout 2012.

Posted in Life after cancer, New Normal, Support | 2 Comments

One Year

15 Nov

It’s hard to believe that at this time last year, this community was brand new. We were just off the big “push” that inevitably comes at the end of every major project, when you inject that last bit of oomph into making sure all of the details have been considered, that anything that was broken has been fixed and anything that isn’t quite finished gets completed – and fast! The site went live in mid-October and we were proud of this new place we had created for women to gather and connect about all of those ‘other’ things that cancer brings with it. We still are!

We built facingcancer.ca because women with cancer told us that a place like this was what they needed to help support them on their cancer journey. Early in 2010 we conducted a pan-Canadian survey of 814 women with cancer – both current patients and survivors. 73% of them told us that they turned to the internet as a support tool during their cancer, but only 21% of them found it to be helpful. Having offered social and emotional support though our Look Good Feel Better program for almost 20 years, we felt compelled to somehow extend the social benefits of our free workshops to more women through online outreach. And so, the seeds of facingcancer.ca were planted.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, more than 21 years ago now, my world was quite literally turned upside down. While my medical team treated the physical me – shrinking my tumours and removing the cancer from my body – my friends and family treated my spirit. I credit them with helping me to heal emotionally from my cancer. But not everyone is so fortunate to have a strong network of supporters. So, you can imagine how great the satisfaction I and our Facing Cancer Team feel when we see all of you reaching out to each other in our forums, offering those words of encouragement and comfort that are so needed on those dark days of cancer. With facingcancer.ca, everyone whose life has been impacted by cancer can connect with someone who has been there too: patients, survivors, family members, caregivers, even medical professionals.

I love to read the posts from my fellow bloggers who so articulately put into words the myriad of emotions that those of us touched by cancer experience. It is my sincere hope that through communities such as this one and in your own daily life that you, too, have the support that is so vital in facing cancer with hope, courage and optimism. This is what drives me each and every day – the mission to ensure that no woman has to face cancer alone.

Today, the site looks quite different from how it looked a year ago. We have added our bloggers to the homepage after realizing that the blogs were one of the most popular parts of the site. We’ve also added your avatars to your posts in the forums so that you can get to know one another a little bit better while you are reaching out to each other. And we have included videos and social media widgets on the homepage to give you more ways to interact with us and share our site with others who may find it useful. Now, if I can just figure out how to use these myself…

We have more additions and enhancements planned for year two – we want to continue to grow this community and ensure that you’re finding what you need when you visit. And so I want to turn the comments section over to you: What would you like to see added to the site? What do you like best about the site? What do you like the least and are there ways to make it better?

Thanks to each and every one of you for being part of this community. I treasure our newfound relationship, and because of you I continue to learn and understand that this journey is filled with adventure. Together, we can help each other face cancer.

PS: I’m not terribly sure that there’s such a thing as a PS in the cyber world, but if there is, here’s a bit of news that left me down a shade of rose (ok, maybe a little blue). I’ve been wanting to have my eyes tested, not because I have been having any trouble with them, as I haven’t. I just thought it in my best interest to have a thorough check up, so I was surprised to learn I have cataracts in both eyes. The good doc told me they were likely a side effect of chemo. I thought, okay, I can’t walk all that well (try as I might to do it with grace) and I don’t hear very well (years ago I was told the chemo drugs that impacted the nerves in my legs would cause damage in my ears), but no one ever told me that my eyes would be subjected to long-term damage. I guess I’ll just have to follow that favorite passage of Audrey Hepburn written by Sam Levinson: For beautiful eyes, seek out the good in others.
And, dear friend, while many of us have not met, or seen each other, through our relationship on facingcancer.ca, I see a whole lot of good in what each of you are doing by sharing so much of yourselves to help those of us on this journey they call cancer.

God Bless.

Posted in Life after cancer, Support | 2 Comments